Or anything else that will take the edge off!! This is a self pity-party. So, you have been warned.
As probably everyone knows by now, Matthew is leaving for 12 to 18 months. Well, we got the call yesterday that he leaves Monday at 11:30. I bawled like a sissy girl most of the day. I'm not sure why this build up to deployment has been so rough on me. We never get along. We haven't really spent any time by ourselves. It's just been a really depressing few months for me....and he hasn't even left yet. No, this isn't our first deployment. Nor is it our first deployment for this long. But, it's sucking the life out of me. I am hoping that once a month or so passes, I'll find my strength again....that's how it usually happens. Right now, though, I'm content with being a slug! Well, maybe not content. I want to be strong for the kiddos. I know they are all hurting in their own ways, too. Grrr....my head is just spinning!!! I'm not in a good place right now. Thus the reason I've been MIA in so many parts of my life.